Thinking about the Ocean

Over the summer, I visited my sister in Vancouver (something I do every year, but since she had visited Regina in June it wasn't expected) and branched out a bit my spending four days in Victoria on my own. It was my first time travelling alone (without immediately meeting up with someone I knew at my destination) and my first time staying in a hostel. It was a little scary, a lot exciting, and unbelievably beautiful. I feel a bit silly for my earnestness, but this small trip was significant in a lot of ways, and I couldn't help but have high expectations. A lot of the significance is quite personal, but part worth sharing: living in the prairies can feel incredibly isolating - it's nice to escape and see the ocean, as well as remind myself that non-prairie cities are not sparkly queer meccas. I like to leave the prairies to prove that I am, in fact, able to leave, and that I just don't really want to.



Travelling alone meant I only had to do things I really wanted to I found that very lovely. I spent most of my time wandering, writing, looking at the ocean in awe, taking photos, pressing flowers, collecting shells, drinking fancy coffee & iced teas, and generally enjoying my own company and my surrounding. Other nice things included coffee from a high school acquaintance, visiting the Craigdarroch Castle (super weird but super beautiful and my mom taught at the Victoria Conservatory of Music when it was still housed in the castle so I wanted to see it), and meeting, though briefly, Jessica Luxury of Tangled Up In Lace. I also bumped in to her partner, Fleetwood, the evening prior & felt like an awkward teenager introducing myself with a "I recognize you from the internet" but I probably would've felt more awkward if I failed to say hello. They're such rad people, I hope I have the opportunity to hang out with them more in the future!



I also really loved being able to hang out with my sister, her partner, and their friends in Vancouver. I feel really lucky that my sister and I get along so well - she is definitely one of my favourite people to talk to/spend time with & we hold a lot of similar beliefs. While in Vancouver, along with a lot of walking, good food, and even better conversation, I also competed at the Vancouver Poetry Slam (I'll share a video soon!) and went to my first ever Dyke March. None of these things were without problem, but they were ultimately enjoyable and I was glad to experience them without panic.



Something about sharing photos from months ago online seems almost redundant (I'm so used to sharing things as they happen via instagram and twitter & I think most of us are used to receiving information that way too) but I wasn't able to totally reflect on that trip until now. Victoria was the climactic point of a rather tumultuous relationship, and thinking too hard about the ocean air left my chest tight & heart broken, but after the usual end-of-relationship processing I'm grateful to have had closure and be free of an emotionally unhealthy relationship. And, as the weather starts to cool and I prepare for another winter in the prairies, I've enjoyed looking through these photos again.







So. Beautiful.

(belated) birthday girl: a year in review & 21 before 22

A few weeks ago I celebrated my twenty first birthday in a lovely low key way. Having just gotten settled in Edmonton and having a lower tolerance for crowds (even when it's a crowd of people I like), I did nothing of particular extravagance, but I was grateful to be able to spend time with my sister, parents, and close friends. I was able to spread the celebration over a week and, I promise you, a birthday week is so much nicer. Not only do you get even more festivities, it also takes some pressure off the day of so you can quit worrying if all you want to do is drink coffee, go for a walk, play Scrabble, eat cheap appetizers, or any other simple thing that bring you joy.

I have been in a very retrospective mood over the last month or so, and of course an annual marker such as a birthday provides a bit of guidance for navigating those thoughts. Twenty was difficult, weird, and totally amazing. It was, without a doubt, one of the most challenging and most rewarding years I've had so far. And while the positive and negative aspects are equally as important and valid, in reflecting on the past year I actively tried to make note of the good things (as it can be so much easier to remember the bad). And there were a lot of wonderful moments and experiences! I thought of writing a list of the top ten (or twenty or thirty) things that have happened, and while I certainly could, I realized that any such list would quickly become repetitive. I realized that most of the enjoyable parts of the past year fall under three general points: 1) creating art, finding myself as a ceramic artist and poet, and sharing that art with others, 2) enjoying, appreciating, and experiencing the art of others (specifically that of my friends, who are incredibly talented artists, but I've had the privilege of seeing & hearing a lot of fantastic art), and 3) spending time with people I love most, creating and fostering friendships, and time and time again being astonished by just how amazing positive relationships can be. There were a lot of other things in between there (like traveling on my own for the first time!) but those three points really sum up what I am grateful for most.

I feel like I'm in a bit of a transitionary period, and as such I really want to think critically about what I want/need, try new things, and push myself to take on tasks that seem challenging or scary. As my birthday approached I knew I wanted to jump on the "2X before 2X+1" blogger bandwagon (I cannot remember/find who first came up with this but let me know if you do. Credit where credit is due!). I have a lot of mixed feelings about "goals," and recognize their positive and negative aspects. Goals can provide direction and hope, but sometimes they're just looming pictures of things we'll never do or people we'll never become. As someone who is crazy and constantly broke, I'm even more hesitant to make lists like these. I mean, when I have to decide between a bus pass and groceries, when am I ever going to be able to afford a tattoo? Does it matter if I take a passenger train when getting out of bed and leaving the apartment is a noble accomplishment on its own? I understand that anything beyond basic survival is a huge privilege, but I still think making goals is worthwhile, and I want the guidance of knowing what I want and the joy of accomplishing those things. With all that being said, I present my 21 before 22 list.

I'm confident I'll be able to accomplish these goals, and that twenty one will be just as wonderfully weird as twenty.

(I can't believe I started this blog when I was 17, thanks for sticking around so long!)

florals/femmes/giraffes/autumn/etc.

Sometime over the summer I realized the day I was looking forward to the most was the day it would finally be cool enough to wear my favourite giraffe sweatshirt. It's still the first week of September, but today was that beautiful grey autumn day I'd been dreaming of.. (okay, the trees are still green, but I got to wear this top and everyone online is posting about pumpkin spice lattes so you know it's already autumn in our young, tender, internet-obsessed hearts).

I haven't been the best with seeing people since moving back to Edmonton, but I really want to make new friends and spend more time with folks I haven't seen in a while. Last night, I had coffee with some other queer women in an informal-but-planned-group-outing and it was really nice. I loved the opportunity to meet new folks and I really appreciate people trying to fill some of the empty spaces in our community (like, where do you meet other queer people when you don't want to go the bar or volunteer in an activist/non-profit setting?). Also, hanging out with other women and other femmes is just so wonderful. Speaking of femmes (!!!) this morning I had a delicious vegetarian breakfast and excellent conversation with a woman who I met when I was a youth and I haven't seen in years. Today has been lovely so far, and I imagine it will continue to be - I'm cycling through the David's Tea fall collection and will be seeing more people this afternoon and evening. Leaving the apartment is worthwhile afterall!

This is probably the comfiest outfit ever, and that it my biggest priority. As you might have gathered from above, I'm pretty in love with this sweatshirt. And this skirt. I wear it at least once or twice a week, it's just so fun! Also, how's everyone feeling about bras these days? I'm not a fan of my chest either way*, and I find that wearing a bra or going bra-less can both be pretty uncomfortable, but you best believe today is a bra-free day**. I really loved what Ragini said about bras in one of her recent blog posts (I'm a big fan of her outfits and writing!), it's hard not to feel like we are collectively lying about what breasts really look like sometimes. 

I hope you're all enjoying the first week of September! This is the first time I haven't been in school during the fall, but I live quite close to the university and am on the walking route between the bars and frat houses (and residences), so I have in a way been...not enjoying, but am greatly aware of, the start of the semester. 

*I am of the opinion that individuals aren't required to "love themselves love their bodies~" and I think you can accept your body without those feelings. I am not filled with self-loathing and I respect my body because it is mine, it is the only one I get, and it is the vessel through which I navigate the world, but that doesn't mean I don't have a very complicated relationship with it.

**The other day I legitimately got heat rash on my right boob from spending twenty minutes on my balcony in a dark t-shirt without a bra. It's funny, but it really hurt and took a few days to fully heal!

summertime broke femme

I've been really wanting to blog lately but I just don't know where to start, but, I guess I'm starting here. (Will I ever be able to start a post that doesn't make it sound like I'm awkwardly introducing myself to strangers at a party?)

The last six weeks or so have been really neat! I moved from Regina to Edmonton, visited Vancouver and Victoria, was back in Edmonton for a day, and then went to visit a friend in Camrose for a week. I'd also been taking an online class (Stats 100 - my first online University course) and wrote my final exam a few days after leaving Camrose. I know it's just a 100 level course, but doing math again was really awesome. And now I am back in Edmonton, trying to feel settled, and looking for a job. My sister is visiting this week and we've seen each four times in four months now (we normally only see each other three times a year). And my birthday is Saturday!

Lotsa' neat things are going on, but my days are still really slow, full of sleep; a lot of reading, walking, time spent at the library; writing in coffee shops and sorting things in the evening. Due to some family-emergency stuff I haven't really been working since the end of April, so I'm trying to appreciate all of the time I get to myself, but still structure my time and make the most of my days. It's not something I'm particularly good at, and I'm hoping a job will make me have a bit more structure.

I spent a lot of yesterday outside, and it was the perfect warm and sunny but not too hot weather. Hot enough for one of my few tank top days of the season. A lot of the discomfort I have around exposing flesh is highly related to illness, so I can't totally relate to the "fatties baring arms!" thing. I certainly don't mean to devalue that, I think it is important and valid, but not all experiences are the same. My skin invites disgust, looks of horrified curiosity, intrusive questions AND I'm fat (and I have a myriad of privileges, still, that allow me to feel safe and empowered in my body in public arenas). It's complicated, y'all. But I'm super in love with this top, and super into broke messy femme clashing fashions (because I have to be, also see: "I don't wear anything I can't wipe my hands on"). This shirt is from the 1996 North Country Fair, a folk festival in Northern Alberta, and the first year my family and I went - I was four! I found it at Value Village five or so years ago, cut out the back (it was a security t-shirt) but it fit in such an odd way. Feeling brave during Pride week after finally going for short hair, I ripped the sleeves off and am pretty excited about wearing it now. This skirt is super fun and I always get a lot of compliments on it, another thrifted skirt I wasn't that into and now can't get enough of.

Also, I am in LOVE with these sandals. I have such a hard time finding sandals because my feet are large and wide and thick (is there a term for that?). I'd been eyeing them on Naturalizer website, but was super hesitant because they only came in regular width, but the fit just works with my foot. I got them for $30, have been wearing them non-stop, including a lot of walking, and they're super comfortable. Solid purchase!

How have you folks been? I hope you're all enjoying the end of summer! 

Home Sweet Home

I'm taking a semester off of school, and am back in Edmonton for a few months. It's not really a move, more of an extended holiday, an opportunity to be wayward, but when everything you own has either been given away or is in boxes things start feeling absolutist. I just need a break.

I miss Regina. Edmonton is okay. (My feelings are not this straightforward, I have a lot of complex feelings about "home," but they can't quite be articulated yet).

Here are some instagram photos of my last few days in Regina, and the two-day drive back to Edmonton. I'm @hyperfemme on instagram, if anyone's interested in following me there!



I'm heading to Vancouver tomorrow, and then Victoria a few days after, and I'm really excited. I am looking forward to ocean air, swimming, ferry rides, poetry slams, excellent public transit, beautiful people, dyke march (my first!), reading zines, reading poems, writing in my journal, new coffee shops and old used book stores, and more. I'm expecting a lot from a week-long trip, but I hope it will be what I need.

Traipsing about the Prairies

At the end of June, my older sister visited for a few days, and having her here was an absolute delight! She hadn't visited me in Regina before, and her trips to Saskatchewan had been few and far between. If you know me in real life, you know that I have a deep love for the Prairies. It isn't always perfect, but the people are wonderful, small cities are so nice, and the landscape is just breathtaking. I will defend the Prairies until I am out of breath, but thankfully my sister was as excited to see Regina and the surrounding area as I was to have her here. My sister is the type of person who is really aware and appreciative of her surroundings, and I really loved that someone from Vancouver was so excited to see Saskatchewan. As I don't drive, we rented a car for a day and visited Rouleau (the town where Corner Gas was filmed!), Moose Jaw, and Lumsden Beach, and spent a solid twelve hours out of the city.



If you don't watch Corner Gas (and I imagine many of you don't, as it's a Canadian show and is pretty regionally specific), you might not get why I'm always so excited to visit Rouleau (aka Dog River), but I assure you it's amazing! It's very hyper real, parts of the town do feel like props, and when we were in the Corner Gas the television show was playing. So weird. So good. It seems like the town attracts a fair amount of visitors because of the show, but I imagine it would be odd to live there. The prop-police station has a "warning: not a real police station" sign, and although the water tower does say Rouleau, the grain elevator is still devoted to Dog River.





After Rouleau, we headed to Moose Jaw where we just wandered down main street and through an adjacent park. We ended up getting a bit lost leaving Moose Jaw, we had intended to go to Buffalo Pound Provincial Park, but missed the turn off, and ended up on a series of unmarked gravel roads between Moose Jaw and Lumsden. I must ask, though, who makes a driving map of Saskatchewan that doesn't include gravel roads? Still, while looking for a road we could identify, we stopped to eat lunch near a small rural graveyard, chatted with a woman on a bike ride with her dog, and stumbled across an old, deteriorating barn. My sister saw an owl in the barn, but I missed it and the only wildlife I experienced there was far too many mosquitoes.





We finally re-oriented ourselves, and made it to Lumsden Beach, which was suggested by friends because it's a lot smaller and less busy than other nearby beaches. They were not wrong! The beach was very small, and we were the only people there. It was a bit cool to find the cold lake water especially refreshing, but it was still so nice to go in for a quick dip and spend a few hours on the beach reading. Before we left, we sat at a small golf course at the top of the valley to eat some berries and watch the sunset. It was breathtaking. I discovered my iPhone camera's panorama option, and was really impressed with how well it photographed the sun. There is nothing like a beautiful sunset to leave you in awe of this world we live in. Simply amazing.





I could talk about home and location and cities and the Prairies and how these all relate to identity forever, and I often do, but I think that's for another blog post. It was really wonderful to have my sister visit, and I loved the opportunity to get out of the city and enjoy the landscape. I wish I did that more often.









PS. If you think the Prairies are boring, I think you might be the boring one. Have you seen that big sky?

Short hair

I've wanted to have short hair for ever, so two weeks ago I decided to just do it. It's still growing on me, but I've gotten a lot of compliments and the back of my neck feels so free (something I'm grateful for with these rising temperatures).

Check out that prairie sky in the last photo! My sister visited from Vancouver last weekend, and we rented a car and spent a full day outside of the city. The landscape is so beautiful, seeing how the sunset affects the entire sky is especially amazing, and I'll be sure to share more pictures very soon. For now, I should get back to cleaning and packing. Did I mention I'm moving in less than three weeks?

Divine

The only way to get over a fear of jersey pencil skirts is to just wear one, right?

Old Navy skirt, Penningtons boots, polka-dotted romper turned tunic from Dots (how perfect!)

I bought this skirt last fall and can probably count the number of times I've worn it on one hand. It's so beautiful, and such a statement piece, but... it's a stretchy cotton pencil skirt. It's tight. And clingy. And shows off just how fat I am. The horror! I've been downsizing my closet, and this is one item I am not willing to get rid of, so I finally just got over myself and wore it out. And I almost won the battle, but it rides up like nobody's business. I'm not sure if it's the shorts I was wearing underneath, but if it had ridden up without the shorts I would've been showing off my underwear half way through the evening.  Some people's cup of tea, but not the case for this modest miss. 

I wore this a few weekends ago to the final evening of Regina's queer film festival (Queer City Cinema) to see I Am Divine! Amazing film, a little too much fatphobia. Did you know that no thin person has ever died before? Never ever. No? Me either. After the film my friends and I went to the gay bar, where I got laughed at by some dudes. This is why I don't like the gay bar. I always enjoy grabbing a pint with friends, though, and this is why I go there anyway. I wonder what it would be like to be in a space that actually felt "inclusive." I understand I have a lot of privileges, but even so I cannot begin to fathom what true inclusivity would feel like. 

This necklace is one I made myself. Over the past year I'd gotten in the habit of making jewellery to go along with the ceramics projects, and lately I've been working on a lot of flowers and maggots (and fat tummies). I've been thinking of selling jewellery online, but I'm not sure if it'd
be worthwhile. If I do, no fears, I have plenty of necklaces sans maggots for you folks less in the grotesque. 

Shop My Closet

Hi folks! Thanks again for the kind and supportive comments lately. I am very bad at maintaining online communication, but all comments are read and appreciated, even if I do not respond to them.

I'm just popping by to let you know that I am selling a TON of my clothes and shoes on this here blog (seriously, there are more than fourty items listed!). I have a lot of unworn items in my closet, and not so much in the way of money, so it's time for another clothing sale. There are clothes sizes 14-22 and shoes in size 11. You can check it out with this link here or click the "shop my closet" link just underneath the blog header.

Here are just a few of the items I'm selling. If anything tickles your fancy, leave a comment on this post or email be at anomalous_allure AT hotmail DOT com.

Do I owe you an apology?

I don't feel like a part of the fatshion/fat acceptance blogging community. At one time, I did, but that has been fading as I post less and less, and read blogs less frequently. I can't keep up with blogs I know and love, let alone keep track of all the new fashionable fat people sharing their wardrobes and lives online. I think I might feel less engaged in online communities because I feel more engaged in 'in-person' communities. At the very least, I notice the two to be connected  And the more I'm away from the blogging world, the harder I find it to express my passion and personality and life via text and photographs. Perhaps I feel enough of a sense of community and validation in my offline world that I no longer need to seek it online, but I still long to feel like a part of the fat acceptance world again.

I deleted my tumblr this past fall. I utilized it as a way of broadcasting my mental illness in what felt like self-destructive ways, and it was making this sense of isolation I felt from what should be my communities all the more obvious. I remade it, and used it for a few more months while posting less and following significantly fewer people, but the same problems still arose. I finally deleted it again a few months ago, and haven't read anyone's tumblr since then. Which is a shame, because there a lot of really cool people who only use tumblr, but I have so many frustrations with it that it's just easier to avoid it all together.

That being said, I don't want to put an end to this blog or say goodbye to the fatshion blogosphere altogether. It has been an important part of my life for many years, and I still love having a place where I can share my outfits, art, photos, thoughts, or anything else, even if I don't often do that.

So, do I owe you an apology? I doubt that very many folks are regular readers, considering how slow it has been over the last year. But I know that some of you do still read my blog, and I really appreciate the kind and compassionate comments I've received on my last two posts regarding mental health.

How many times do I try to start anew? Once more, perhaps? A hundred times more?

Hello again, I'm Sonia. When I started this blog, I was a fat, crazy seventeen year-old girl starting my final year of high school. Now, I'm a fat, crazy queer femme girl in my third year of university (though not likely to graduate soon). I moved to a city where I knew no one, and fell into a group of really amazing friends. I'm not the most hard-working student, and my mental health hinders me a lot, but I've grown and learned a lot as an artist and my skills are constantly improving. I've started doing spoken word and going to poetry slams. Art openings still make me anxious, but I'm less likely to leave crying within the first five minutes. I love the sense of community I've found here. I seem to have fallen in love with this small Prairie city, and don't even get me started on the big sky. Sometimes my life is boring and monotonous. Sometimes it is so wonderful I am overwhelmed with love and appreciation and awe. Sometimes I am depressed and anxious, feel disengaged or detached with myself and my surroundings. Sometimes I don't quite understand how I've survived so far or how I will continue to do it. But there is a lot about my life I enjoy, and I want to share that with you through this blog. 

I hope some of you will want to be a part of that.

More Mental Health Stuff

Thank you for your kind words on my last post. Mental health and self care and recovery and survival are really fucking hard. And really fucking vital. So I'm going to continue talking about it as honestly as I can.

Over the past year and a half since moving to Regina my mental health has gotten worse and worse, to the point where I think I'm having the same feelings and thoughts I did at 15 and 16, pre-diagnosis/treatment/counseling. To feel that so much hard work to "get better" had been wasted is really scary. I think there are a lot of reasons why it's gotten to this point and while I'd like to blame it entirely on the lack of mental health care in this city (oh my god is it lacking) I've also postponed trying to access services more than I should have. Moving to a new city was a huge signifier of a adulthood, and it's so ingrained that being depressed and/or having the desire to self harm are only for teenagers, and people should just grow out of those feelings. And sometimes it feels like if you can just convince yourself hard enough that things are okay, that you are not actually that crazy, then these things will be true. Which is really just a long, roundabout way to say that I had secretly hoped that I could (and should) just get over my mental illness.

This is not to say that the poor mental health care in this city hasn't also been a huge problem. It is really frustrating to, while experiencing deep depression, try to make all the right phone calls to all the right people and still get no where. I think that being able to say "these feelings are overwhelming, I want to remain safe, I want to access help" is so incredibly powerful and being met with absolutely nothing in return is awful. Regina does not have enough psychiatrists, psychologists, or counselors of any kind. The waiting time with the health region's mental health clinic can take over a year, but after a year without any service they close your file. Total catch 22. After 9 months of waiting I got an appointment with a psychiatrist who changed my medications without a follow-up. A few week later I was CC'd a letter  that stated that I "no longer needed psychiatric care" (as if I had gotten any at all). I was filled with rage and burst into tears, and still feel like that appointment and letter did more harm than good.

This is really just an example as to how frustrating trying to access mental health care can be. I certainly don't mean to suggest that it's easy in any Canadian city, but in Regina the services just do not exist and that is endlessly frustrating. Still, survival and recovery are my top priorities right now, and after a lot of patience and an unfortunate hospital visit, I actually have a referral to a psychiatrist for the first week in July. I've also started seeing someone through my university's counseling services, and I hope I'll be able to see a counselor on a weekly basis, at least for a while. This sort of mental health care isn't right for everyone, but it's something I need right now, so I'm gritting my teeth and practicing patience and doing everything I can to survive. I am surviving, and sometimes that's the most important thing.

Self Care and Mental Health

This has been one of the worst mental health weeks I've experienced in a long time. But I've survived it, and that means I can continue to survive. So I'm thinking a lot about self care because, honestly, I've forgotten how to take care of myself. "Self care" is a buzzword. What the fuck does it mean? It's thrown around so much without really talking about how we can care for ourselves. I want to talk about taking care of myself. With the help of some incredibly supportive friends, I'm re-learning how to do that. I am thinking and writing, making lists of things that make me happy, what I could do to make myself happier.

Survival is an interesting concept because it seems like such little but it can be so fucking hard. It can be unbearable at times. But it's the most important thing. And it's something I need to prioritize.

I am just rambling, though I plan to talk more about mental health and self care in the future.

But today is the first time in the last week I've felt content, and that's nice. So I thought I'd share a spoken word piece I came across this week and really, really love. I hope you do, too.

Cinnamon Hearts

You know when you intend to do something that would take no more than half an hour and then all of a sudden it's three weeks later and it still hasn't happened? Or is that just me? That's what happened with this post. And a lot of other things, lately. My mental health hasn't been the best the past few months, but today is already shaping up to be a good day. And so, a blog post!



Anyways, the weekend after Valentine's day I had a potluck while my roommates where away for reading week. I named it Valen-friend's day and, along with telling my friends how much I like them via sparkly heart-shaped cutouts, I made cinnamon heart cupcakes for the evening. My roommate's sister had made these cupcakes sometime in January, and when she offered me one I almost weeped with joy. I'm certainly biased - cinnamon hearts are my #1 favourite candy, Valentine's day or not - but it was the best cupcake I'd ever eaten. When I asked for the recipe my roommate said "Oh, it's online. When you find it, you'll know." Which is true, I guess, seeing as most cinnamon heart cupcakes are either chocolate or red velvet, the first white cupcake recipe I found was indeed the one. And so worth the search.



These delicious cupcakes were invented by Erica of Erica's Sweet Tooth, and I cannot recommend them enough. If you want to read the recipe or see some fancy cupcake photographs, hop on over there. My cupcakes aren't very fancy by blogging standards, but they are so super fancy by real life standards. My friends even called them pretty. If that's not fancy, then I don't know what is.

The cupcakes were gone by the end of the evening, but I'm still snacking on cinnamon hearts non-stop.

Sad Songs

Pattern matching (and clashing) is my absolute favourite, and nothing sends my heart all aflutter like polka dots on polka dots. Totally dreamy. I'm also really into this dark purple lipstick. I'd been eyeing it since the summer and finally decided to just buy it. Is it weird to think it looks especially good against my new orange-y hair? No? Awesome.



 On Saturday night one of my very good friends had an art opening for her solo print show, and two other friends (who are a noisy punk/queer performance art team) performed at it. I know I mentioned this is my last post, but my friends are REALLY talented. Like, damn. I wish I had photos of the art show and performance to share, but it seems I'm just a vain bitch who's really into my outfits. (Or I'm always pretty shy about bringing my camera places and snapping photos and such. One or the other.) After the opening, we headed to bar for the appropriate amount of drinks and lots of silly dancing. I ended the evening by complimenting all of my friends profusely before heading home, which is a pretty decent drunk-habit to have if you ask me.

Leather

I wore this the other night to a queer open mic event, where I shared some spoken word and totally swooned over how talented everyone was. After the open mic we headed to the gay bar for a pint and got sucked into karaoke (which should really be called queer-aoke but nobody takes my advice). I sang Ke$ha because I love her, but nothing compared to two of my friends doing Sonny and Cher's The Beat Goes On. It was SO good. Like I said, my friends are talented.



 I got this sweater from Ricki's recently and it's not really my style (pastels?! pull-over sweaters?!) but the colour is perfect and it's so sweet.I found this perfect leather skirt for $6 from Value Village a few weeks ago and felt like I had died and gone to heaven. It also convinced me to start blogging again. Really! Look at my facebook post from that day as proof!

Blogging, take two (or..something like that)

Hello folks. I've missed you.

I've been thinking a lot about blogging. Seriously, a lot. And for all that thinking, I can't quite articulate my feelings on the topic. I don't have very much money. I'm not a good illustrator and I don't have (or know how to use) fancy cameras or photoshop or anything that would make my blog look more "professional." And I think I'm okay with that. I'm a twenty year-old broke queer art student with two part-time jobs, more responsibilities than I can often handle, mental health issues, a fat body, and a disorganized closet exploding with cheap clothes in a wide array of patterns. I think blogging as a medium, particularly fashion blogging, encourages people to create a facade - only showing the newest clothes, the best put together outfits, the most beautiful aspects of their life. And that's okay. It's just not for me.

All that being said, I've missed blogging. I liked having a place to share my weird broke femme outfits and I really liked being able to connect with other similarly-minded folks. So, I guess I'm giving blogging another go.

I also am in the process of trying to update my blog layout. So, I guess I'll see how that works.